would you like some cheese with your whine?

is it only wednesday?

seriously?

cause it feels like this week should be over by now and i'm certainly ready for it to be.

oh well, i'll make it through and just keep doing what i'm doing- focusing on thanksgiving and all it's yummy and leafy goodness! 

{i'm not sure what i'm going to do with all these leaves i've been painting, but i'm excited about it!}

random afterthought: my email address was jediangel11 until after i got married. at the age of 22. how silly. {and a little awesome?}

highest highs & lowest lows

this week has been....something else. to say it's been a roller coaster ride just doesn't quite cover it. it's like the week that never ends.

it started with my mom's {major} surgery on tuesday morning, which went well. yay! 

high!

but then she had complications, and was back in the hospital for 20 hours. my dad sounded a step away from distraught, and with no family nearby him to be supportive and a mom in a "precarious" situation, my siblings and i were all freaking out. a lot.  

low.

but then she went home and things have been all clear ever since. 

high!

wednesday husband had his final all-day interview with teach for america. 

high!

but the interview was in lawrence {a couple hours away} and the night before our car broke down. disaster.  

low.

but then a dear friend came through with a car to borrow. she's amazing.  

high!

{and oh yeah, he nailed the interview}

double high!

so now it's the end of a long long week and everything has ended on a good note, but i'm still reeling from, well, everything. 

i'm looking forward to a calm weekend. 

a weekend of recovery. {especially for my mom}

a little wallowing. and a thanks too.

your recent comments have been so wonderful and put a smile on my little face.

{photo}

lately i've been dealing with severe allergies. severe severe allergies. i've had them since i was a kid, so i'm no stranger to pretty much every symptom that goes along with that- including eyes that swell shut. 

but living in kansas has made things even worse. my asthma is out of control and i've been sleeping at least 11 hours a day, and if i'm not at work i'm wallowing on the couch. 

and it's been miserable.

if i was a normal person i would have realized that being this miserable isn't normal for anyone, but i've just grown to expect it so my whole base frame-of-reference is off. but this week i reached my breaking point and made a doctors appointment.

so after a steroid shot, two new inhalers with increased potency, and an additional pill prescription, i am very hopeful that i will be feeling like a normal human being again. {although it might all just be too good to be true}

anyway, i'm taking the night off and basking in kansas football and my newest craft obsession {which i promise to reveal soon!}

so again, thank you all so much for all your wonderful kindess! i really needed it :)

me: now

this is me. 

this is how i feel.

disheveled. 

a little stressed.

definitely tired.

so i'll be back later. 

when life doesn't seem so crazy.

it's the 4th!

i'm so excited it's the holiday weekend!

the 4th has long been hubby and i's favorite holiday. it marks the anniversary of our first date {6 years ago!} we met up with friends, headed downtown and watched the fireworks.

 it was perfect.

we've pretty much repeated that same date every year. some of the locations have changed and sometimes a friend or 2 couldn't make it home- but mostly, it's always been the same. and we never miss watching the show together {and cuddling in the dark}

this year we're far away from those people and those places and while i'm excited for the weekend, it's hard not to be homesick at the same time.

but it's time to buck-up and stop this pitty party! we're having friends over today {the ones who are still in town, that is} and i still get to be with my love {which is really all that matters} and so maybe it's going to be a great weekend after all.

{but just to make sure we don't get too moppy, i've outlawed these names at our house for the next 48 hours: sarah & matt, rob, brad & caitlin, and don- we miss you dearly!}

{one year we played croquet}

{rob played in seersucker}

 {hubby played "swords"}

{and i was all business}

and last year, at a porch party with these guys:

{sarah! why so angry?}

{

{much better!}

happy holiday, friends! i hope it's a good one <3

just that kinda day

we all have them.

i'm a little homesick {you can't really beat a michigan summer}

little sister is in the hospital with complications from her ankle surgery and i can't be there {not that me being there would make her any better, but, you know...}

and it's raining. which usually i love, but today is sad enough without grey skies, and there's no thunder and lighting to go along with it {my favorite parts!}

ah well. nothing a little sew therapy can't solve.

photos here, here, here and here

dear friends,

as much as i've tried to keep it out of my blog- i'm sick. again! i've been going back and forth with this thing now for a couple weeks and ignoring it is no longer working. i finally hit my "sick peek" this weekend: lots of coughing, no voice, achy all over, and a fever. 

yep, that's right, i spent valentine's day sick as a dog, in bed.

<

luckily i'm getting better {slowly but surely} and i have a hubby to take care of me {waiting on me hand and foot, moving the tv to the bedroom, and being extra sweet}.

 but i'm still taking things pretty easy- going to bed at 7, drinking lots of water and oj, taking extra vitamins, and watching lots of alias {years later, i'm still obsessed!} and not doing much of anything else.

so, if you can wait just another day or two, i promise to post photos of my wonderful valentine swap cards, {which all put mine to shame!} and answer this one last question from micaela.

thanks for haning in there with me <3

love,

it's okay

well, i had a post all written and ready to go, but i scrapped it. i don't know, it was forced. cause the truth is that i'm feeling kinda homesick today. we had 2 snow days this week so i've just had too much time on my hands. not that i'm complaining about getting some recoup time at home with the husband, its just been pretty quiet here and i can't just walk upstairs to be around family and i can't just hop in the car and drop by my bestie's place {both of which i was really getting used to.}

i'm excited to be home, but i'm even more excited to go back to work tomorrow. i was not made to sit around so much!
 i know it's gonna be a great week, i'm just ready to get it started already.

girlfriends

tonight is my first girl's night in manhattan (so excited!) and it's gotten me thinking about girlfriends.


me and my little sisser (the original girlfriend)

i always considered myself lucky because, while i did my fair share of dating, i never had my heart broken by a boy. not really. but by a girlfriend. that's happened to me more than once, and boy did my heart break into little pieces. how could it not? when you're close to someone as sisters, share you life's joys and heartaches- it's hard to understand when they turn their back on you.

our culture knows all about break-ups and how hard they are, but how many songs are written about the end of a friendship? how many movies are all about the heartache that comes with losing a girlfriend? there is no road map to overcoming that kind of loss (and betrayal). it feels pretty lonely.

high school girlfriends!

we all know the term "frenemy"- someone who is your friend, but deep down they're really your enemy. someone who secretly competes with you and doesn't have you're best interest at heart. i think it's so sad that girls have this competitive nature with each other. i find myself fighting off those competitive and petty impulses sometimes when i should really be supporting and encouraging!

college girlfriends and roommates (dressed in black after an orchestra concert)

does anyone else know what i'm talking about?

when i moved to michigan it took me years to open myself to becoming best friends with someone again. and it's sad. i've moved on now, and done a lot of healing, but it still hurts to look back on those friendships and see what i've lost. i still don't always know why. it's hard not to blame yourself (i still do) but i think i've learned how to be a true friend again, and i owe it all to my girlfriends! because even though i've been hurt before, they're still some of the most important people in my life and the girls that helped pick me up when i was down. i learned how to trust again.

so to all my girlfriends (you know who you are) today i am thankful for you and i miss you all dearly! know that i don't ever want to take you for granted.

(and we're still girlfriends even if we're family :)

missing michigan

i'm only working about 10 hours a week right now, and i'm getting bored.
i don't really feel like there is much in my life giving it any meaning right now, but i am thinking that this might also be springing from the fact that last year i was working 50-60 hours a week (and now i'm not) and it takes me a while to adjust to changes.
that being said, i knew moving would be hard, and i'm ok with that. really. i miss my family A TON and my friends (cough*sarah) A TON!
but i expected that.

i didn't expect to miss my violin students this much.

so as of this week i am really trying to put myself "out there" and get some students!

i thought i was looking forward to a break, not working so much, but there is a healthy balance i'm missing right now.

PS: ben, come to kansas so we can play together again! i miss it (and you)