tonight is my first girl's night in manhattan (so excited!) and it's gotten me thinking about girlfriends.
me and my little sisser (the original girlfriend)
me and my little sisser (the original girlfriend)
i always considered myself lucky because, while i did my fair share of dating, i never had my heart broken by a boy. not really. but by a girlfriend. that's happened to me more than once, and boy did my heart break into little pieces. how could it not? when you're close to someone as sisters, share you life's joys and heartaches- it's hard to understand when they turn their back on you.
our culture knows all about break-ups and how hard they are, but how many songs are written about the end of a friendship? how many movies are all about the heartache that comes with losing a girlfriend? there is no road map to overcoming that kind of loss (and betrayal). it feels pretty lonely.
high school girlfriends!
we all know the term "frenemy"- someone who is your friend, but deep down they're really your enemy. someone who secretly competes with you and doesn't have you're best interest at heart. i think it's so sad that girls have this competitive nature with each other. i find myself fighting off those competitive and petty impulses sometimes when i should really be supporting and encouraging!
college girlfriends and roommates (dressed in black after an orchestra concert)
does anyone else know what i'm talking about?
when i moved to michigan it took me years to open myself to becoming best friends with someone again. and it's sad. i've moved on now, and done a lot of healing, but it still hurts to look back on those friendships and see what i've lost. i still don't always know why. it's hard not to blame yourself (i still do) but i think i've learned how to be a true friend again, and i owe it all to my girlfriends! because even though i've been hurt before, they're still some of the most important people in my life and the girls that helped pick me up when i was down. i learned how to trust again.
so to all my girlfriends (you know who you are) today i am thankful for you and i miss you all dearly! know that i don't ever want to take you for granted.
(and we're still girlfriends even if we're family :)
the photo of you and your sis is my favorite. so timeless....
ReplyDeletebtw - thanks for the add!
I do know! I have a girlfriend from age 13 that lives one mile away.
ReplyDeleteWe may not hang out all the time, but I know I can turn to her for anything.
Cute pics!
I totally agree with the songs about lost lovers, and NO songs about lost friends?! That's crazy talk! I too have had a couple bad break ups with friends... they are harder than break-ups with boys.
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting! You comment... I follow!! :)
I agree totally! I don't know what I would do without my girls:)
ReplyDeletei value my girlfriends, too. especially one in particular :)
ReplyDeleteStopping by from SITS! I love my girlfriends. I'm an only child so my girlfriends are like my extended family.
ReplyDeleteOMG you hit the nail right on the head--a break-up with a girlfriend CAN be more difficult than a break-up with a boyfriend. I'm lucky to have a small group of really close girlfriends, but we've certainly had our ups and downs. Great post!
ReplyDeleteStopping by from SITS!
I've actually gone through breakups with friends before too. Both times have been quite painful -- mostly because they were blaming me for things that I didn't do. I really miss the girls I was close to in high school. Luckily, I've got some really amazing friends from college that I've kept in touch with and have grown closer to some from high school that I never expected to be so close with.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a wonderful post! And yes you are so right...boys have broken my heart but losing a really good girlfriend is devastating! Thankfully it hasn't happened often but when it has, it hurts!!
ReplyDeleteStopping by from SITS!
Oh well, this touches a nerve! I've had many break ups for various reasons over the years, the majority being when I had twins. That was it for a lot of friends. It was as if I'd died. There was I, coping with a toddler and twins, trying to keep working and studying and the majority of my friends saw this, saw how mad it was and abandoned me. I can laugh about it now but it totally broke my heart back then.
ReplyDeleteGirlfriends and sisters are the best....the ones I have now, I love more than they know (obviously, the sisters are the same.... ;O)
Thanks for this, it was nice to think of it all. Specially gin-soaked. xxxxxxx
love you....sorry ( though its never enough ) ...I love you.
ReplyDeleteN.
Girls can be nasty. I am not sure why some are like that. It's best to get rid of poison 'friends'. Who needs them. Hold on tight to those good ones.
ReplyDeleteHappy SITS day.
LisaDay
If you're blessed to have a circle of girlfriends in your life, hold on to it. There's nothing like being able to pick up the phone knowing that someone you love & trust is on the other end ready to share and support you in all of your life's ups and downs.
ReplyDeleteI hope you and your girlfriends will be able to overcome your differences.
awwww such a great post. i think that with age (and maturity) the competitiveness falls by the wayside for most, life is too short to waist spending energy and time with someone and not truly enjoying them! warm wishes for many years of happy times and great girlfriends =)
ReplyDeleteIt IS hard opening up to new friends in a new place. I've made two big moves in my life, and I've bounced back from each, but it definitely took more time the second time. Totally worth it, though.
ReplyDeleteSuch a sweet post. Brings tears to my eyes thinking of my best friend who I lost 3 years ago (not in an argument, it was a plane crash). Good girlfriends are so rare, at least for me because I'm such an introvert. I do feel lucky to have had her in my life.
ReplyDeleteTime to pull myself together and get back to blogging. I think you're the first SITSah who's made me cry! :)
The break-up of my best friend and I happened more than a decade ago, yet I still think about it. Mostly because I don't know exactly what happened other than knowing whose hand was heavy in creating the lies that got my friend so upset.
ReplyDeleteNow, I have friends that are so much better. We're closer and they're just better people in general. It's tough, but it will happen.
Happy SITS day!
Stopping by from SITs ... Such a sweet post. I have 2 best friends in particular... Have a wonderful day!
ReplyDeleteTHAT is the cutest picture of you and your sis. (((awwww))) I can totally relate. It's never easy to have a friendship dissolve, but sometimes life pulls us away from the people we think know us the best. But there is a silver lining to that as well because we mature, we find out about ourselves, and we learn to surround ourselves with the finest people this world has to offer. At least that's what I did when I broke ties with some friends from high school/college.
ReplyDeleteGreat post :)
I can completely relate to what you're saying. I have "broken up" with one friend over and over, but I keep coming back for more. I'm so pathetic. It's almost worse than an ex-boyfriend. I keep hoping she'll turn around THIS TIME and we'll still be friends. I don't know why I should expect a leopard to change her spots.
ReplyDeletehmpf.
You know, my best friend moved in with her boyfriend and far away after Christmas and I feel so abandoned. I am happy that she is happy but I miss her very much. And honestly, I just don't feel like making any new friends right now. I need time to heal. : ( I miss girlfriends. I think she is going to go to sex and the city with me and our friend marsha though...so that will be nice. I miss her so. Great post.
ReplyDeleteHappy SITS day! I love the picture of you and your sister. I'm in my fifties and my sister still is my best girlfriend.
ReplyDeleteShe lives in Kansas as does most of my family while I'm out in California missing the open land.